Day Fifty Two - The End

My name is Ryan Jaydon Gordon and today Jesus came to fetch me while I was in my mom's arms. I breathed on my own for an hour before He took my hand and led me away. Mom and dad were both there and I know how much they love me; I just hope they know how much I love them.

Today was the first time I ever wore clothes. My aunty Shan and uncle Bjorn bought me a Winnie-the-pooh and Tigger babygro - it was so soft and made me feel really warm.

Mom is smiling in this picture because I looked so cute and because she loves me so much. I was awake for most of the day before my tubes came out.

Dad loves me too...he spent the whole night with me in the cubicle room and slept in a chair next to my cot. I did wake him up a few times when my heart rate went too high.

Mom slept at the Ronald McDonald House in the "Folly Bridge" room with Naomi, Noah, Rene and Travis. My little big sister, Naomi slept next to mom. I got my turn later when the oscillator was switched off.

It was a busy day today because I had so many visitors. First there was mom and dad with my brothers and sisters; then aunty Shan (uncle Bjorn had to go to work); then granny Tehillah and grandpa John; then aunty Laura and uncle Garreth with my cousins...and then finally grandpa Michael, who drove all the way from Wales this morning. Phew, I guess I really am loved and will be missed. I just hope everyone remembers that Jesus is taking good care of me until they see me again in heaven!

Day Forty Eight

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.Psalm 62:5

Day Forty Seven

Today was father's day and of course dad came to visit me. Well, mom and dad both stayed the night at the hospital and had a nice lie-in then came to visit me in the morning before church.

The last few days have been hard because my blood pressure has dropped and the doctors have been giving me extra fluid to help. I really don't like that because I get puffy and can't open my eyes.

One good thing is that they have started to give me milk again and are also giving me less medicine to make me sleepy. Hopefully Jesus will help me to open my eyes again soon, it is really hard for mom and dad when I am all puffy.

The nurses wrote a card for dad and put my heal prints on it...dad was very happy.

Day Forty Three

It's been good few days for me, and for everyone who loves me I guess; my CO2 levels have been much better and today the nurses even reduced my oxygen pressure from 30 to 26. The target they say is 12 and then I should be able to breathe on my own. Woohoo, what a day that will be! They also reduced my breathing rate from 70 to 40, which feels alot better. I need to get it down to 20. Still lots for me to do but with all the people asking Jesus to heal me, I am sure He already has. We just need to be patient and watch my body get stronger.

Mom and dad had another meeting today, with a doctor from SCBU called Dr. Ives and one from PICU called Dr. Scheffler; and of course my day nurse, Kirsty. They were in the meeting room for ages but when they came out mom and dad were smiling and laughing. Then they started talking about what the doctors said and it didn't sound very good to me. I guess they were smiling because they know that Jesus loves me and no matter how bad things get, He can heal me. I hope that is what His plan is...I will be the first to know if it isn't, but that is ok too.

Day Thirty Nine

Granny came to visit me at one o'clock in the morning after finishing her work. I love granny's visits, she really makes me feel happy when she laughs. My older brother Noah says he often goes to granny's house and sleeps in a big bed next door to granny's room. I hope I get to do that one day soon.

I woke up later in the morning after having my nappy changed by my nurse, Alison. She is very kind to me and even lets mom play my favourite music. Dad was here when I woke up; he sang me some songs and read me something out of Jesus' book. But this morning I felt very bad and the doctors were talking a lot about something called see-oh-two which has something to do with my blood. They were very serious about it.

When mom and dad were with me later in the morning, doctor Josep said that I had come to the end of the road; which is strange as didn't even know I was going somewhere. He asked them to think about calling it a day, whatever that means. All I know is that dad said he would never give up hope and mom said she was very scared that I was in pain. They said they would go and discuss it and come back...I wish I knew what "it" was. Anyway, after a while they came to see me again and asked my day nurse, Nicky, when they would be doing another gas. She said they had just done one and were waiting for the results. Well, the results must have been good because when the doctor came back with them and told mom and dad, dad just smiled a big smile and said to mom, "there is our answer, do you want another fleece". I really have no idea what they were talking about but when nurse Nicky asked if they wanted care to carry on, dad just said yes. I was happy then.

Dad says sometimes we are put in really difficult positions and have to make decisions that will change our lives, and in those times Jesus is always willing to help and make the decision for us. I can't wait to go up and have a chance to do that because I know Jesus will always make the right decision because He is God and He knows best!

Day Thirty One: June 1st 2009

I had a visit from a kidney doctor today. He came all the way from a place called London and he had some good things to say to mom and dad. They had a long talk and grandpa Mike was here too so he listened to what the doctor said.

It looks like the doctors are going to try with the PD for a few more weeks until my kidneys start working better. Mom, dad and everybody at home and even in far away countries are praying for me so I am sure Jesus will fix my kindneys.

I also have a new type of breathing machine now and it is taking me a while to get used to it!

Day Twenty Nine

The doctors were thinking about stopping the PD today but mom and dad are not happy about it, so they prayed and asked Jesus to change their minds...He did.

Mom has been putting cream on me to help soften my skin, it feels great and now that I am not so puffy I can open my eyes and see her. Mom is very beautiful, dad is quite hairy.